LONDON, England - The envelopes have been opened, the statuettes collected and the limos departed.

The biggest shock at this year's Oscars is that low budget, no-star 'Slumdog Millionaire' was even a contender in the first place.

Now all that's left for this year's Oscars is to sift through the results and fathom out what happened - and why.

Oscar results are usually analyzed in terms of expectations and shocks - which winners succeeded and failed to satisfy the pundit's predictions (as I attempted to do a few weeks back – how did your predictions go?).

But 2009 was a year largely devoid of shocks.

Heath Ledger ("The Dark Knight"), Kate Winslet ("The Reader") and Penelope Cruz ("Vicky Cristiana Barcelona") all won in their respective categories as predicted. Likewise, "Slumdog Millionaire" took Best Picture and Best Director (I foolishly suggested "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button" might nab one of these).

Many commentators have hailed Sean Penn's Best Actor prize for "Milk," for which he beat out favorite Mickey Rourke ("The Wrestler") as a shock. Not so.

There's two types of shocks in the Oscars - unexpected shocks and predicted shocks.

Unexpected shocks are few and far between - say "Brokeback Mountain" losing out on Best Picture to "Crash" in 2006.

It just happens: sometimes the awards season goes on for so long that the front runner simply gets overhauled. Or, Academy voters maybe say to themselves: You know what, we're not going to vote the way everyone reckons we are.

Penn's win, on the other hand, is a predicted shock. Penn won the same Oscar in 2004 for "Mystic River." Every awards body has its own tastes. It's not that the Academy does not like Mickey - they just prefer Sean.

No, this season's biggest shock has been a slow-burn unexpected shock, one that's been so long coming that it's almost failed to register.

"Slumdog Millionaire."

The Oscar success of Danny Boyle's Mumbai-set film has been hailed as a sure bet these past few weeks - "Slumdunk Millionaire," if you will.

But its victories were never certain.

The shock is not just that "Slumdog" won eight Oscars (which puts it on a par with "Gone With the Wind" and "On The Waterfront," and ahead of "Schindler's List" and "Lawrence of Arabia") but that it was even a runner in the race at all.

Remember - this is a low-budget, no-star film that almost went to DVD following the collapse of Warner Independent Pictures (which like CNN is owned by a unit of Time Warner) before it was rescued last summer by Fox Searchlight.

If "Curious," "Slumdog's" closest rival with 13 nominations, had won more awards then it would remind Oscar-watchers of the success of "Forrest Gump." Films like "Milk," "Frost/Nixon" and "The Reader" also have their own Oscar-nominated antecedents.

But "Slumdog" is reminiscent of nothing else that has been this popular in recent Oscars history.

Sometimes the best shocks also hint at a seachange.

What do you think about this year's Oscar winners? Tell us your thoughts.

LONDON, England - I think we must be reaching the end of time. Frankly, I'm thinking about going to church again just to beg God to miracle up Hollywood some execs or screenwriters with a fresh idea or two.

Five habits of highly profitable movie-making(L-R): Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Aniston, Ginnifer Goodwin, Scarlett Johansson.

I've already had a rant here about the moves afoot to remake the "Karate Kid" with Jackie Chan in the lead, but now there are even more ominous threats to the good movie-going public on the horizon.

The U.S. success of "He's Just Not That Into You" is a frightening omen.

That a film based on a 2004 self-help book, which was in turn blasted into prominence by a remark on TV show "Sex and the City," was even made is vaguely insulting.

That it is now a riproaring success beggars belief (correct me if you think I'm wrong).

The story line, what there is of one, is lame: Career-driven thirtysomethings in search of love; Original, I know.

It's jam-packed full of stars but that just serves to remind you how dull and patronizing the whole thing is. It's brain curdling stuff.

Ben Affleck, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly, Kris Kristofferson and Scarlett Johansson, I have but one question: Why did you do it? Surely the money wasn't enough.

However, worse is that the movie's success will probably mean Hollywood turns even more to the self-help industry.

So, in the future, prepare yourself for films based on "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" and "Feel the Fear and do it Anyway."

Really help yourself and avoid seeing anything based on a self-help tome. A short walk in the park will be a lot better for you.

Tell us what you thought of the movie. Do you think Glen has a point?

Valentine's Day comes directly after Friday the 13th this year, so what better time to discuss movie dates from hell and, crucially, how to avoid them.

Jason from 'Friday the 13th' - not the ideal date.

Having trawled the collective wisdom of everyone who'll speak to me on this subject, it seems there are certain lessons to be learnt from experience that can help in navigating the romantic minefield that is movies and dating.

So, here, distilled from our collective failings, regretful lack of foresight and moments cringeing in the darkness, in point by point form is what we have learned so far.

1. Ensure the film is (at least a bit) romantic

This sounds obvious but a few years ago, someone I know took his date to the cinema with the idea of watching endearing, animated story of life and love in an ant colony, "Antz." "Foolproof," he thought, conjuring up images of bonding over Woody Allen and Sly Stallone as cartoon insects and, hopefully, some back row snuggles as the ant guy finally gets his ant girl.

What he didn't reckon on was his date's insistence on watching the artier "My Name is Joe." The result: Two hours in front of a misery-thon by gritty British social realist director Ken Loach about a Glaswegian alcoholic who eventually (spoiler alert!) hangs himself. How many fledgling romances are strong enough to survive that?

2. But not too sexy

This is crucial. You would be surprised how awkward a darkened room can get (think unexpected sex scenes on TV while watching with your parents as a child and multiply). Take the experiences of someone else I know who blithely invited her new man on a first date to see Paul Thomas Anderson's 1997 porn industry sex-fest "Boogie Nights." "VERY uncomfortable silences at some of the fruiter scenes, " she says.

3. Choose genre carefully

Listen up, fanboys. While a whole lot of pyrotechnics and special effects might be a recipe for a perfect night out with your male friends, your new ladyfriend (of course, if she is a fangirl feel free to ignore this advice) may be less endeared by minimal plot and six fight scenes in a row. Similarly ladies, (and I know I'm making gross generalizations here), he may not have religiously watched "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or be into the latest in-jokey cinematic offering from Joss Whedon.

4. Know your limits

So, they like horror films. If you don't, don't go to one. Take this pitiful example as a salutary tale: A young man who is not a big horror film fan takes a girl he likes on a first date to see "The Blair Witch Project." She's happily watching the faux-documentary psych-out but he can't handle it. Not even halfway through (i.e. nowhere near the really scary bits) he completely freaks out and, too ashamed to admit he's scared says, "I'm going to the toilet," and never returns. Needless to say, he never heard from the girl again and was too ashamed to get back in touch. Horror 1 – Love nil.

5. Make sure you are approachable

Remember, kids, cinema seats are really close together so no garlic/smokes/blue cheese etc. beforehand. This works as a rule of thumb for most dates. A colleague of mine recounts how he took a girl to see "Beverley Hills Cop II."  Never one to miss an opportunity for a smooch, he leaned in despite the whiff of garlic from her breath ... one kiss was fine but he spent the rest of the film fending off her advances, proclaiming his love of the comic talents of Eddie Murphy.

6. Choose seat with care

Dates can make the situational requirements of movie geeks even more critical - even then, matters can be taken out of your hands. Another hard done by friend recounts one occasion when a hugely obese man sat down directly behind her unfortunate date. Her date was oblivious to the fact his head was but inches away from this man's bulging groin. Meanwhile she spent a tense 90 minutes "avoiding eye contact with my date because I didn't want to spoil the romantic mood by alerting him that there was an obese man chowing down on a family pack of M&Ms right behind his head." When a M&M pinged down and landed in her boyfriend's lap she could no longer keep up the pretence and the romantic mood disappeared as rapidly as her fellow movie-goer's fistfuls of candy.

So, as you can see there is no magic recipe for movie date success that will help you avoid the multitudinal pitfalls.  Of course, there is an easier option - go to a bar. Happy Valentine's Day.

Have you been on a movie date from hell? Tell us below.

Wherever they go, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are guaranteed to generate a media frenzy, but it was vintage rocker Mick Jagger who generated one of the biggest cheers of the night when he came on present the best director award.

Brad and Angelina take their newly discovered membership of MREP with good humor.

The Rolling Stone told the audience that he was attending the ceremony in his capacity as the founder member of MREP - "The Movie Star and Rock Star Exchange Program."

Under this program, he said, Sir Ben Kingsley was singing the Stone's hit "Brown Sugar" at the Grammy Awards (also on Sunday), Sir Anthony Hopkins was in the recording studio with Amy Winehouse, Dame Judy Dench was busy trashing hotel rooms and next week Brad Pitt and the whole Pitt family would be performing in "The Sound of Music."

Brad and Angelina reportedly took the whole thing with good humor, even if both nominees (Brad for Leading Actor for "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" and Supporting Actor for "Burn After Reading" and Angelina for Leading Actress in "Changeling") returned home empty-handed.