This is so mean-spirited. I bet this writer has never won so much as a raffle before. There is much more to winning an Oscar than just standing up there in a pretty dress. Hours and hours of work go into filming and acting and it must be really terrible to be chased by paparazzi and hounded by the press about your personal life. How would you like it if you were splashed across tabloid newspapers and second-rate websites every time you got so much as a spot or a wrinkle.
Kate Winslet and Gwyneth Paltrow spoke from the heart. They should be applauded for it. Shame on you!

Ha. Get a sense of humour Lucille. I think Paltrow's speech is definitely the worst speech in a long time, which is a pity because she appears very nice. I think I'd probably thank my mum and dad. You can't get anywhere without them.

I actually agree with the first poster. I find the honesty and unguardedness of awards speeches endearing. Sure the classiest ones ever have come from the unflappable Clint Eastwood but i don't want to mute or turn off when i see a Gwyneth or a Halle Berry.

To be honest the only one i can recall that i really didn't like was when Nicole Kidman's rubber-nose won best actress because she pretended to be teary but her lack of acting ability and plasticised face prevented it. It was the fakest Oscar moment i can recall.

I'll take any of those over the ones where some film editor takes out a list and starts thanking everyone in New Zealand. Mention "the people back in [plug for your company]" and get off.

Terrible piece. This is sophomoric and just really not funny at all.

I actually cried when I was watching Halle's speech... (:

It's a good thing you are not getting an oscar! We already know how you would feel and think standing there. This type of commenting comes from the heart.
And yes Peter, it could be done in a funny way, but it wasn't.
But, who knows! If Glen was there he could have felt otherwise...

All I can say to the first person's comments is blah blah blah. Go cry into your hanky about the great deeds that actors do for the world.

If all goes well, this will be win-win for society. A) it will win because the shooter will be punished for his vigilantism, thus reaffirming the rule of law; and B) it will win because with any luck the anti-social talkers will be so scarred from this experience they won't disturb the rest of us in the future. If we're lucky enough to get these results, then where's the downside?

I don't see te problem with Kate Winslet's speech. It seemed to me like she really enjoyed it.

I awlays found the reactions on oscar night to be some what over the top. Too much so to be called honest emotion (Perhaps with the exception of Anna Paquin's adorable reaction to her oscar win. But hey, she was 11). I think the reactions are more genuine at awards like the globes or the baftas.

That said there are some Oscar speeches that were brilliant and some that were awful. In my oppinion Tom Hanks walks aways with the award for worst speech(es) ever. What a train wreck that was. Adrian Brody and George Clooney were the best.

I will agree with Lucille as well. It's too easy to say "grab a sense of humor" and dismiss the caustic tone of this rant. Of course, Glen Scanlon was parodying the Oscar speeches and his comments should be taken in context. But what's happening lately, (or more than lately) is a "Howard Sterning" of everything. Writers, Journalists, News Commentators are all pushing the edge of good taste and the result is stupid and stupider. Spend 3 minutes watching Fox news and you'll see what I mean. But if there's a point here: give these celebrities a break for a second. Aside from the fact that we ourselves create them as royalty in the United States, they're actors and this is a big deal for them. Not all of them are eloquent. And in the end, the Oscar is the brass ring for any actor. It's the Everest of acting awards (as dopey as that concept is to begin with ). So if some of them are not Peter O'Toole in their unscripted speeches, give it a break. My 2 cents.

The best speech ever was that of Markeeta Irglova when she and Glen Hansard won in last year's Oscars. That was really very poignant.

Hm. gota admit the article above is an attempt to humor and wit but fails. And contrarily to what it said, when actors/actresses get emotional on stage, well, at least its real (like Rob M mentions above Nicole Kidmans "cold" speech, it wasnt from the heart) She kept her poise and starlette screen-like image squeeky clean but it was souless. Something for the press. Anyway I think people should express themselves fully out there. Regardless of ego issues or lack thereof.

I think this article says more about the inadequacies of the writer than hollywood and their award shows. A sad failed attempt at satire, which just goes to show that sarcasm can be the lowest form of wit. (Outside of comedy central that is!)

"Oh my, well this is just so unexpected! It´s an honour just to be nominated. That on its own is more than anyone could ask for. I have been nominated before and haven´t won. Like I said to my children before leaving tonight. "Don´t be sad if mommy doesn´t win, cause she has actually won already, by just being nominated". So my fellow nominees, we are all winners. It is funny how I didn´t think this way before holding the Oscar in my hand..... Anyway.
Oh god. Time to wrap up. There really should be more time given for this kind of thing. While doing character research I learned that in other areas of life, people are sometimes honoured for their work as well. And do you know that when they receive an award, they just accept it like professionals who did their job, without pouring out their heart, family history and all the names of the people they have ever worked with. How is that even possible!?! The most absurd thing I have heard."
And the band starts playing.

Wahhhlll ahddd like ta thank ma mahh an ma pahh an Gahhhd fah mahkin me a stahhhh.......etcetera etcetera etcetera.....gush gush gush......

ick. snark. cnn, you embarrass yourself.

I cried too when Halle Berry won, it is still my favoritest Oscar moment

Well i guess she was so certain Fernanda Montenego was gonna get the Oscar that she got lost with a so unfair surprise!!! Shame on Academy Awards!!!

I´ve often been very touched by Oscar speeches and I´m not going to be ashamed for that.
Coolness is not everything, in fact I think it´s nothing.

Generally speaking, sarcastic humour and satire seems to go over the heads of most Americans – I will never understand why! In Australia we would call this article "taking the piss" – to all you I assume Yanks bagging it – get over it!

I agree fully with the article and have never enjoyed an oscar speech, they are all false. These people are all average with a little bit of acting talent, they are not meant to preach to the world. You all are obviously the type who Q throught the night to catch a glimse of one of the puppets, its a sign of inadequacy when you idolise overpaid actors. Oh please dear G... don't let fat John Travolta ever win an oscar!!!

Sorry Folks. I have to agree with the author here. I find far too many of these emotional acceptance speeches to be insincere, affected and over the top, not to mention irritating in the extreme. I too want to dive for the mute button.

Actually, I would go further. I really enjoy movies but frankly, I don't understand the obsession with the oscars. It is nothing more than a party for an industry of overpaid, pampered, self-obsessed 'stars' (whatever the hell that means) who are giving themselves yet another reward in the form of a collective pat on the back, as though their bloated salaries were not reward enough. A narcissistic exercise in self-glorification and shameless wallowing in their exaggerated sense of self importance. And don't get me started on the shallow, superficial and frankly pathetic obsession with 'who wore what' blah blah blah blah. Pleeeeaaase. Get a life.

But the most embarrassing thing is the hordes of people who line the 'red carpet',screaming at the top of their lungs whenever one of these aforementioned 'stars' exits a limo and strolls onto the red carpet, as though they have done something heroic. These are ACTORS people. Not heroes. Get it? A hero is someone who rescues a child from a burning building, or who safely lands a plane when the engines have failed, a la Chesley Sullenberger. Ironically these people will most likely be greeted by spirited applause, while the truly hysterical reaction is reserved for the 'stars' on the red carpet, who have done nothing even vaguely comparable or commensurate to earn such a reception. It makes you lose faith in the future of humanity......

This isn't worth reading, which is why I couldn't even finish it. But from the first line I thought it wouldn't be very good writing. Why use a word like "detritus" at the same time as dropping into some informal style. It's amature writing, and reminds me of a high school "journalist". And the it's not funny, has no merit, no real wit. Stop boring me...

It's "amature writing" . . . take a look at yourself Professor. Very funny.

This is really the worst speech one could give,,,, dont ever try this, you might think of youself as cool after saying all that stuff, however this would really break many many hearts

When I was a child I understood all the glory of Oscar... because Oscar is an illusion. It is a fake world. It is a world of illusion.
I really agree with Glen Scanlon. It is the best speech I have seen.
Actors are workers but a doctor, a pilot, a software developer and so on, are workers too. Then should there be Doctor Oscar, Pilot Oscar, Software Developer Oscar .... win an Oscar is nothing more than an obligation of an actor, because he is well paid for it

What do you expect? Actors deliver texts, they don't write them. It is a rare treat to encounter a Hollywood star who is actually articulate in his or her own right, and such cases probably have a true theatre background. Film acting is a great and complex craft that deserves recognition like the Oscars, but don't confuse the real people with the roles they play on screen.

Well, you have done something right Glen! You have stirred a discussion/argument.
In my experience, take any human being and give them the role that they so vehemently protest against and the results are amazing! You will never know what it will be like for you in that same situation unless you are in it. So, don't judge...unless you really don't mind someone else "taking the piss" on your expense.

Agree with JG in NY. Terrible article. Amateurish actually. I think this "Oscar speech" was meant to be funny rather than mean, but it is not funny at all. Sounds like something that would come from Mean Girls.

If only people cared so much about the success of individuals who actually did something useful for humanity.

Really? Do so many of you believe these "performers" do enough? I think this speech hits right on the money, most of these actors make millions of dollars for a single movie, offer suboptimal performances, and decide to take a few months off because it was so stressful. Let me make millions of dollars for pretending. I might actually put the money to good use, instead of buying a 10 million dollar house for me and my dog, owning 6 of the same car in different colors, or spending half of it on drugs. Come on! Really? I have no sympathy for those who put themselves in the lime light, they knew what they were getting into in the first place. Blame them for our economic situations, they're part of a multi billion dollar industry that just doesn't give back. Instead, they're going to raise ticket prices, because they can't afford to pay and actor 20 million for their cameo in a movie that is going to suck anyway.

My speech: does this mean I get MORE free designer stuff?

cnn, you fail with this article

CNN actually pays people to write stuff like this?

One thing i liked about it is she is honest in what she is telling. However, that also showed how mean and ill spirited she is HONESTLY.

Absolutely rubbish, this column is not worth the time taken to read it. I hope he was not paid for this pathetic drivel ! And not funny at all

You hit the nail on the head, Glenn. Gwyneth Paltrow shouldn't have won. I didn't even like "Shakespeare In Love". (I'm sure a "feel good" movie will win the category "Best Film" – as every year – this year. Typically Hollywood.) The Oscar reduced Paltrow to a babbling idiot. I felt painfully embarrassed for her. I could sympathize with someone not in the entertainment business being overwhelmed but a professional shouldn't behave like a teenager who had just won a cheerleader place. Brody and Berry were just as bad. I do hope future winners understand that a short and gracious speech is smart, a long and incoherent one is stupid. After all, there's a saying that goes, "Speak more than necessary and you'll reveal how low your IQ level is".

glenn, i find your speech so "touching". i mean, i really like it. i like your sense of humor.

The "humor" in this article is so stale that it ceases to exist (which is why it isn't a good attempt at "taking the piss" Andrew; we like our sarcasm actually funny.

I agree with Jake:

"give these celebrities a break for a second...they’re actors and this is a big deal for them."

This is their big night. They grew up dreaming of belonging to Hollywood's dream factory, and they followed an artistic path and were successful in it, beyond expectations. Think about how many struggling actors there are who dream it and never achieve it? Let them get swept away in the moment, and please keep your snarkiness to yourself, Glen.

I believe that acceptance speaches are generally too long and way too boring. However there have been two humorous and memorable speaches: I remember one year the produces of the Oscars promissed a TV to the person with the shortest speach. A german (?) guy did the best when he went to the stage said thanks – I want that TV and left. Now thats funny.
Steven Soderbergh also did well when he said I prefere to thank people in person and walked off.

Weak writing, lame jokes. CNN you should do better.

Glad to know I'm not the only one who thought actors (especially those nominated for gongs) are brilliant until they come to pick up their oscar trophies. Makes you wonder how they did the brilliant acting in the first place. I mean, it's a speech for flipsakes and they are actors. They could try and act like good speakers. That's not a tough thing considering they have loads of time to rehearse too. Without "cuts" and "take fives", most of them are actually rubbish.

Well Glen...Gwyneth Paltrow is .......beauuuuuutiful..!!!! I'd forgive her any bad speech any time. I can't forgive you yours though...lol

no..no..no cnn!
I think you can write much better!
This is one of the most boring articles on CNN in the last one year!
It is like an episode from popular satire cartoon shows!

I think you should make nytimes movies section as your example to learn how to write about movies!

i didn't know oscar's meant that much, i haven't watched any awards ceremonies in years...

Charlize Theron's speech a few years ago came from the heart, I thought. Her words became even more poignant when we learnt later from the press, as could be expected, what led her and her family from South Africa to the US.

Sure – some speeches are a little long, but it's their moment. They were chosen as the best in their category and when compared to the other nominees I can see where it would be a very overwhelming thing. Could you imagine winning an award over a living legend such as Meryl Streep?
My favorite speech was given by Stanley Donin when he won what I think was a Lifetime Achievement Award of sort. He did a little song and dance that was indicative of the vast contributions he made to timeless movies that are deeply loved.

The cynicism of your article is very transparent. These are real people, not characters in a novel. It really means something to them to win and why should they not be open and human in their response!

Does anyone remember Laurence Olivier tedious speech when he got an Honorary Oscar?

Great article. There are too few people saying it like it is. Too many brown-nosers, too many slaves-to-hype sheep overrating their own p**p, let alone "the body of work" of the average useless actor or pop singer. Unfortunately, most people's IQs are in the realm of single digits, hence why the Oscars have such a high number of nincompoops watching them every year.

For further realistic and much-needed analysis of the retarded "culture" that the more intelligent among us suffer in this Age of Paris Hilton, check out my IMDb and RateYourMusic rants...

It's an award for acting. Who really cares?

I've never understood why so many people think things like this have any real importance.

you don't "see" a speech but "hear" a speech

Since when did nastiness and spite start passing for comedy? I think writer is working from the Russell Brand school of humour. I think the writer is jealous and secretly wishes to be in film.

Newsflash: if you want to be an actor/ress then BE ONE!

who cares if Gwyneth cried and can people stop going on about Kate Winslet for the love of god!!!!!! If you don't like award ceremonies then don't watch them.

I'd just like to say, or whatever, like, my speech is art, or whatever. So, really, like, it dosn't matter what you say, or whatever...'cause, art can only be judged by God or whatever...

Who cares about Oscars anymore? Find something useful to argue about. Actors and Actresses are the people no one really wanted to talk to in high school and now that they're famous people brag about sitting next to them in French class or having had the same home room teacher. Go find something better to feel passionate about. QVC is more interesting than watching actors run around in clothes that even they cant aford and play 'spot the designer ring on the finger' come on, you cant really tell what so-and-so's earrings look like on tv. I'm going to read a book and ignore the Oscars, for the health of your IQ switch off the tv, protect your brains.

I think Forest Whittaker was good in his acceptance speech for 'The Last King of Scotland', as was Daniel Day Lewis for his speech for 'There will be Blood', as was Tom Hanks for his speeches for 'Philadelphia' and 'Forrest Gump'. The worst ones I can recall are Cuba Gooding Jnr, Roberto Benini, Gwyneth Paltrow and Halle Berry. Although Halle Berry is so beautiful it did not matter.

I am a fan of the oscars because it is a gathering of great artists celebrating there craft.Sure it gets over the top and there are tedious moments but they get outweighted by the genuine outbursts of joy,the grace under fire of great on- and offscreen personalities.I especially remember Helen Mirren for her royal class and Roberto Benigni jumping for joy.I noticed that especially english actors and actresses are doing well at these moments,probably because of there culture of the theatre and general coolness.Looking forward to the next edition!
Ps. Whoopi Goldberg was a blast and generally the moderators did a fine job,I cross my fingers for Hugh Jackman.

What else you can expect from this industry ?????

Absolutely gorgeous article..Of course,some STILL admiring their stars,say this is mean-spirited etc.How ridiculous people are!Show-biz is based on human pettiness and silliness.A movie is just a product on the marketplace.Not such a great thing.
.I was in show-biz when I was young and I left it because I hated its glory painted in vivid but false colours.Permanent parties,boring shootings...and the public "eats up" stupid documentals made about these shootings,about how a movie was made.Why don't they make films about how the food we buy was made?Animal suffering included to make consumers a little more informed.How did they make your sausage,or your ham?These documentals would make sense.Those ones in which showbiz celebrates itself, don't .It is never interesting how showbiz celebrates itself,award ceremonies,festivals...disgusting.

i'd say : what a load of codswallop.

I'm not sure what the point is to all this melodrama. Of the three dozen postings here, I've read two or three that substantiate the heading. But I think it topped me off when I came to the reading of "JournalSIM (sic)Professor" (who, by the way, can't even spell his own name properly), to see such a professional clown criticize a fellow writer and he himself creates first-grade spelling mistakes throughout his sermon....

Hey journalSIM professor ! – get yourself to at least ONE school, duh? Then contemplate a career in journalISM. Fo you write anywhere else?

Good point, Peter. Obviously our 'professor' is somebody with a gooey keyboard....all that slurping, belching and gaping over the 'qwerty' keys whilst reading the very interesting "articles" which appear on this site.....pleeeeease

Oscars?? About as useful as an ashtray on a motorbyke. A chance for our modern society to show off its maturity, and gawk at some tart or idiot to see if he/she walks straight or trips on the carpet, or falters in any way, to then splash across the headlines as if some pseudo Journalist has scooped the story of the century.

More Americans with qooey 'qwerty's, it seems? Get a life, amateurs!

The saying goes... Its better to keep your mouth closed and be thought an idiot... then to speak and remove all doubt!

another one i like is... Do you know how i know you're lieing?
... cause your lips are moving!

Did this fit into the conversation? ... *smile*

Andrew January 30th -your comment is right on the button. Americans too often take themselves too seriously. The Oscars are fundamentally industry self-congratulation. The world doesn't really give a toss, to be frank. Many of the so-called Stars are very poor role models and should be lampooned as often as possible. They are, after all, only actors and actresses skilled in the art of pretence and aided with millions of dollars devoted to ensuring they pull off the roles they're cast in. I guess you Yanks don't have anything better than these Stars to look up to. No wonder your drug-ridden, economically knackered society is on a fast train to nowhere!

Classic!!! Some Oscar speeches are FAR too long. And frankly, who cares!?

Terrible article, not even funny. CNN must be lacking content to put this as a link on its homepage. Actors are paid for acting, not for giving meaningful speeches. Their speeches are not to be compared with Obama's or Churchill's. I find it snobbish to criticize them for giving bad speeches. Yes, some do it well, some do it poorly, but we all watch it to see what will happen. If they all gave a robotic speech or even no speech you wouldn't watch the Oscars....

A party for an industry of overpaid, pampered, self-obsessed 'stars'...

Hmmm... I suppose that is why, you Robert and many else who've posted... who're just like you, watch these 'stars' on TV (through reruns) on your cable, which you have to pay for, after a long night at work fixing potholes around a street corner or even stitching up someone's gut in the surgery room... and these 'stars' are fast asleep on their plush certa designed beds, or are out partying with a group of people who will give them free cable (which they probably don't care to watch anyway).

Take many kinds of people to make up the world. When you finally wake up of your Intelligence-deficit-coma, you'll see what I mean.

The first commenter has a point. This article is mean spirited. That said, does she lack a sense of humor? Perhaps. But hey, most of you here lack a sense of humor when you find out your father slept with your fiance. So...

The next time you think you're smart enough to have an opinion, understand that the other person may have one too. And yeah, one more thing... there's a big difference between (1) sharing your view and (2) dragging another person in the mud because they are not "LIKE YOU".

You'd think after getting a new president, it was a wake up call for many of you. But no, you're still gripping about things that are not within your circle of influence.

When are we gonna' grow up, America?!

It is all very sad. The actors are over paid, the industry is a haven for ego maniacs that have the social skills of cactus and then we cap it all off with an awards ceremony that has as much class as a dingo on heat. I am a sad case for even bothering to make a comment. We all need to get a life.

Sorta like Miss America interviews where everybody is for "World Peace"

Hehe, you guys ranting on about actors' private lives are funny...well...they chose that lifestyle. If they can't deal with it, they can always sweep streets or flip burgers.

And as for those speeches. Uhm. They're ACTORS, remember? Does anyone believe they haven't spent weeks memorising those weepy lines and delivering them so they appear sincere and emotional? Really...

heh heh, it's good, I like it. Keep up the good writing.

Adrien Brody's oscar speech was the best one for me, such honesty and raw emotion.
Beautiful man.

To the author of the article, Kanyima, and everyone who does not know people who act as a proffession: Actors are not intellectuals. They did not write the play, screenplay or book it's based on, only a few are also directors. Many are extremely insecure about their personal identity in private. What they have , that most folks have not, is a welltuned instrument , aquired by hours and hours of studies, practise and repetitions. Like a violinist for example. Only the instrument is their bodies, including the face, and the music the nuances of tone of voice, shades of emotion in the glance of an eye, to extreem diplays of character. Like musicians, the talent and favored method varies: some have an improvisational approach, do very well given alot of freedom and retakes within very set boundaries, others can play every syllable spot on with only one read.
The task is not to save humanity or be charming and graceful. These people would have chosen other jobs if that was the case, believe me!
The problem with the Oscars is that it requires "acting oneself" not just being ones self, due to all the coverage etc. It's confusing to some. And there is real, private emotion involved, in a public setting.
Some handle it well.
Indeed the myth surrounding an actors persona can sometimes be greater than the roles he /she have proffesionally.
Where some viewers (the audience i.e. you and I ) want their actors to live up to these myths at the Oscars, others enjoy a peek at what's behind the mask.
"Art-Competitions" of any kind involving proffesionals ares really a contradiction to the idea of art. But every once in a while it's good to get a real pat on the back from your peers , for a job well done.
That's all it's about really.
Have a heart.
Or focus on say sportsheroes or something....

An outstanding OSCAR speech should be short and to the point !!
How about, "Oops !!" ??!

This kind of writing only works if you can sense that in between the lines, the writer is also winking at you.

However, in this case...all that i can read in between the lines is that the writer is about as heartless and envious as the written text appears to be.

I think this piece is so funny ! Its just so because Oscar speeches tend to get so generic and uncreative, not taking away the appreciation of their work or talent, I just wish some one would just come up and speak from the heart, have humour and stop thanking the millions before time runs out !

This is funny, cracked me up. But i also think it was a little mean, but i guess mean can be funny :).
Most of us like to see the full on teary acceptance speak cause it shows just how much it actually does mean to them. And it is especially good when it's the one you are rooting for who gets up there all teary eyed and almost break down in a fist-to-flor-thank-you-god way.

Gwyneth Paltrow was about the only person that gave a speech from the heart.. When I win unexpected, I would babble just as much as she did. IT made her more human then any other Oscar speech I've ever seen.

That being said, this article shouldn't be on CNN. More on CollegeJokes.com or WannebeWriters.org

I think its self obsessed and cocky. These people need to bring humility in themselves. This is shallow behavior.

The article was just kind of dumb, I can see why the acceptance speeches aren't the most exhilirating or inspiring to watch, but if you're going to make fun of them, at least be funny!

The writer of this piece could win a Razzie award for the worst writing. Maybe not even that.

I saw the headline and clicked into it thinking I would read an article about bad Oscar speeches, instead I got run-of-the-mill sarcasm. Bad headline.

Who care's?
(Oh, everyone who has put in their two cents here so far.)

Id like to choose one of my favourite speeches instead of talking about bad ones (like James Cameron, Gwyneth Paltrow...). It supposes that Julia Roberts performed one of the best speeches ever cause of her spontaneously joy. Something that we dont see in Oscar cerimonies but boring performances of fulfilled egoes.

Very funny article. I think it's sad (and a bit scary) the way the entertainment industry has become such a dominating entity in the American society. It's become the new "opiate of the masses."

You all have too much time on your hands!!

Life is so hard, so when I win something I want to talk about it! The life of an actor is so secretive, there is no way to know what pressures they face, so when I became famous I had no idea that the press would hound me and people would follow my every move! This whole celebrity thing is so new to this little country of America anyway, we just don't know what those bumpkins in hollywood will do! All joking aside, who really cares what a bunch of un or under-educated sociopaths and egomaniacs say anyway? We have the nightly news for all of that blather!

Love the article and love the Oscars for just that reason; a whole crowd of us get together and take bets on who is going to make the biggest fool of him or herself this year. Pity Michael Moore isn't up for something this year; he's always a good bet for a rant.

Thank heavens for some actors who don't take it all too seriously and rise to the occasion with some class and dignity.

oh come on, it was hilarious

The oscars are advertising. Let's face it. The Hollywood formula is all about making movies to make $$$$. Is it any surprise that the good looking drones who participate in its making are just as silly as the premis? I say make a rule that no movie can be produced for more than $1Mil and see how the limited budgets equal thoughtful production, writing, acting, directing, and hard work will equal great movies. The oscars.... puke.

The writer needs to be fired from this organisation. Terrible piece.

Gosh, now I can be a writer!

Who cares – some people do go way over board when winning anything! Halle Berry (seeing she's mentioned quite a bit) – you like the speech great fine with me but don't tell me I'm wrong for thinking it was a pile of crap (blah blah cry squeel). As for the people taking on the writer of the peice – he works for CNN – he's obviously good at his job or else he wouldn't be working for CNN! Besides, I thought it was funny. Get a sense of humor. I've been watching the Oscars for 20 years and I've never heard anyone who's speech which is like the one Glen is writing about because it's a joke. God. Get a grip on reality people!

glen, you got everyone puking or singing and that in itself is quite an engagement.....lol !

How can people be so angry about this article? It is about people who are accepting awards for pretending to be fictional characters. I mean, this is people watching people who are AT WORK. Technically, they are at a work function. Why anybody who is not an actor ever watches these awards is a complete mystery to me.

What is the point? There is no story. There is no plot. There is not even any new information. It is just a few people's opinions about who worked well in the movie industry.

The only reason you'd enjoy watching an awards show is if you are someone who gets all excited by the onscreen presence of someone you have never met. That means you are insane, probably a stalker.

Hollywood only produces what we want to see and oscar night is part of the package. That a weepy best actress is the emotional climax of the show simply reflects our own preferences.

I would like to have heard Liam Neeson's speech had he won for Schindler's List than than of good old Tom's back in 1993.

Masterpiece….. I found this hilarious; it’s what most people hear when they read between the lines of a typical acceptance speech.

My favourite of all time – "I'd like to thank everyone I ever met in my entire life" – Maureen Stapleton when she won Best Supporting Actress for "Reds". Didn't miss anyone, and it was short!!!

So, what did Gwyneth ACTUALLY say?

Oscar speaches are all boring , it´´s a boring ceremony created to actors,directors, and producers super egos. Plus ,it starts so damm late that idiots across the world glue in fron of the TV screen waiting for the important stuff, best actor,a ctress , director and film..that takes place like 3 to 4 am.Get a life indeed.It´s more political then meaningfull.

I believe Gwyneth thanked her family and her good friend–was that Ben Affleck at the time? I don't recall it being that bad.

Even the so-called bad ones are good if they're "in the moment" and heartfelt. You know, like Sally Fields' immortal "you like me, you really like me." Maybe it seemed silly or odd at the time, but it came from the heart and that's what matters..

And the sad part is, look how many of us actually fell for the Gwyneth headline instead of reading something more news-worthy...

There are many people that are overjoyed and saddened each day in the world that are not paid to do it. Why aren't these moments televised?

It's funny. But I've been out of the US for so long, so I don't know what's hip and what's not. If you want quality material, go read The Economist.

good one! Paltrow speech...was well....never mind...wahahaha

Another lame attempt by CNN.com to appeal to a younger demographic.

Please, write intelligently or don't write at all. This article is an insult.

Paltrow especially has spoken countless times of how embarrassed she still feels about that speech. Come on, it's a huge moment with millions of people watching, and it's gonna be there to be replayed, over and over, for ages. Who hasn't stumbled, gotten emotional, made a fool of themselves publically from time to time? Let's cut them some slack for being human beings just like everybody else.

CNN has wasted space on its website with this silly article. Not worth reading.

including me, we've all been dulled. whatever anybody writes only makes this more interesting, but Gwyneth is for real and mean too. was not funny at all.......all the same it has no meaning cos it's allowed in ACTING that's what we relax with cos it's mostly this dum things that makes us laugh, would be dummer if she made too much sense in pretence

If this article was such a waste of time for so many of you to read, why did you bother responding? Was this not a greater waste of your precious time? I admit, I really don't have anything better to do. Whats your excuse?

anyway is not good.
bad existance.

I agree with most of the comments here. But, let me ask these questions to the ones who find that the American film industry is one giant leech ready to suck the money out of the ordinary American, that American films as a whole do NOT entertain at all and that the Oscars is the reflection of all that is fake and false in the industry: Why do you people kept on watching these "trashy" films fully aware that it would support the excesses of these "actors?" And why watch the award show if you just want to hit the mute button, fully aware that speeches like Nicole Kidman's and Halle Berry's could and may be said. Don't just mute it; don't watch it at all! Do something else that's "meaningful" to you.

Unless, you're the masochistic type, why allow yourselves to be "tortured" by these experiences? My 2-cent's worth: don't watch the "trashy" films and the awards show. DO NOT encourage these actors by giving them your movie dollars. DO something else that you like to do like charity work or other "worthwhile" pursuits. Only those who appreciate the movies and it's representations will watch it. It is as simple as that. If you find that these actors undeserving of the money they're making, then DO NOT watch their films. Let it "bomb" at the box office.

To the author of the article, let me tell you that the article is so sarcastic that it's almost humorless and without wit. Reading it is like driving through a street with too many bumps and potholes. Not very smooth at all. I had to control my gag reflex. It's spiteful and juvenile.

Hey Ojay,

Good questions. I offered my opinion on the quality of the writing in the hope that the editors of CNN actually read them and take them seriously. Accountability to its readership is one of the obligations of a free and responsible press. Sure, I could just "vote with my feet" and never come back to CNN.com again, but I hope that by offering my criticism I do my part to help the publication to maintain a level of overall quality. Perhaps this is overstating my individual influence – I mean, who cares what one reader does? But if enough of us do it, maybe we can make a difference.

Leo

If they are up on stage holding that award, quite a few people had something to do with getting them there. Let the award winner take a moment to recognize those people.

Author: you are watching the Oscars. Expect it. Go get a career in acting, get nominated for an Oscar, go up on stage, then you can walk up say "Thanks. Okay, Bye." then be chastised on this blog for not staying up longer and thanking more people.

Shameless attack on Gwyneth. I fell in love with her all over again that year. She looked incredible, she was genuine, and also that was the year she hosted SNL and did a skit as Joan Jett which made her look incredibly hot in a dirty way. And I do agree with the posters who think the author of this article has never won any award on a stage like the Oscars, and can easily Monday Morning quarterback all those more talented that have actually stepped to the podium and had to try to deliver a coherent acceptance speech while expereincing the flood of emotion that comes with being recognized with the best in your field.

This was great! I loved the article because it is so true. ;-)

*laugh* Good gravy, people, it's parody. It's funny. Get over it.

Also... You forgot to include thanking God and promoting your latest humane and/or environmental pet project.

Oh, wait... Thanking God is part of the Music Awards speeches. Oops.